


Night of Infinite Stars

by FrostedGemstones22



Category: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: Alternate Universe - Afterlife, F/M, Forgiveness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-31
Updated: 2014-05-31
Packaged: 2018-01-27 18:04:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1718567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrostedGemstones22/pseuds/FrostedGemstones22
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She gave him everything in the dead of night except forgiveness. And her love, because that was the one thing that she did not want to admit she was most afraid of. Catoniss with slight Everlark.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Night of Infinite Stars

**Author's Note:**

> So, I got this idea after watching an Archer Episode where a girl who was killed by this guy ends up falling in love with him. And I was a little angry, because he literally murdered her at her wedding and I had to think, what kind of place and time would you have to be in to fall in love with the person who murdered you?  
> Really, only Catoniss worked for this, so here it is :)

Katniss' last thoughts were simple. As simple as her addled brain could handle after watching her fellow tribute savagly sliced down, a knife slit across his throat. And she had fought so hard; with such anger. They were going to get out together- her and Peeta. This wasn't supposed to happen. They were supposed to win, they were supposed to greet their families together...

And now, she had failed too. He was too strong, to perceptive of the agony that raged inside of here, and it was her weakness. Like a predator smells sickness on their prey, Cato had found her sick spot.

And he had enjoyed making her cry before he killed her.

Somewhere, Katniss was sure it was the end.

Oh, Prim...I never meant to break our promise...

She closed her eyes to bear the pain of the blade, but the pain never came.

I.

Bright lights, and a well sanitized room reeking of antiseptics. The lights were too vibrant, and they burned on the lids of her closed eyes. She was not in pain. As he eyes adjusted, a sort of joy filled her so completely. Somehow, she had not lost. Somehow, she had won.

There was a blond in the far corner, watching her with wide eyes.

"Peeta! We did it. Peeta we won!" She breathed, "They fixed you up quickly," She teased, trying to to make him smile. She sat up, and immediately felt light-headed. Her hands flew to her chest to feel her fluttering heart, but it came back saturated with blood. Peeta was silent, and hung his head.

"Peeta, I don't understand. Why haven't they fixed me yet. Why am I bleeding on a table?" She whispered, her voice cracking with confusion, "Peeta! Answer me!" She cried in frustration, and he shook his head.

"Katniss, you're dead. He killed you. Like he killed me."

The world spun, and this time her eyes closed without meaning too, and the bright lights faded until the white hot suns fizzled behind a wall of black.

II.

She woke up crying, tears running down her face and the salty tang infiltrating her lips. She was still in the room, but now there were more people. Peeta was in the corner, hovering and scowling. She may have been imagining it, but she thought he was crying too.

"Katniss Everdeen, isn't it?" A young man, not much older than Gale, asked.

"Whose asking." her throat was parched, and she felt numb. She couldn't be dead. It wasn't possible. There was nothing after death, it was just darkness. Another life was too painful to conceive. A life without Prim was hell.

The man looked at her up and down and his smile slipped into a scowl.

"Arden, why have't you given her new clothes? Hers are the disgusting capital wear. And for God sakes, can someone sew her up? She'll get blood over the white linens." He snapped irritably. His tone sent a wave through the crowd, and people shifted. He was a leader.

Katniss was thrusted a parcel of clothes that seemed to be in her size. As someone came forward to carefully move her, they winced as she nearly let a drop of blood seep into the white sheets beneath her.

"Blood on linens. What a tragedy." She sneered. The boy ran a tired hand through his hair.

"Oh Katniss. Blood on my linens is an inconvenience. People appearing on that table is the only tragedy I know."

III.

First a girl who reminded her of Prim sewed up the hole over her heart. She was doused in alcohol to numb the pain of the needle pulling through her skin, but it wasn't the most unbearable occurrence she'd ever had. After awhile, in fact, the rhythmic motions that were clearly well practiced felt like a small comfort.

After, she was ushered to a shower where the shampoo smelled like wildflowers. She reveled in the strangest joy of running her fingers through her hair and watching the area dirt swallowed by the drain. She liked seeing the blood- hers or Peeta's, she didn't know- also wash away. The clothes she was given were comfortable and almost perfectly her size. As she sat on the bench outside the shower, braiding her hair, the woman who had sewed her up came for her.

"How old are you?" Katniss breathed, looking at her.

"Fourteen." She whispered, "I get asked by a lot of people like you."

"Like me?" She questioned.

"Second borns." She said, as if that answered all of her questions, "George requests you. Come." Katniss, utterly confused, followed her like a newborn calf.

She assumed George was who she had met when she first awoke, as he was the only person waiting in the lobby for them. He took the girl's hand and kissed it.

"Thank you, Tuney." He dismissed her, "You look much better, Katniss."

"George." She greeted, more as a confirmation than anything else, "Where is this hell?"

George shook his head, because he either didn't know or didn't want to answer, and motioned for them to sit. "Want some water?"

"If I'm dead, I don't need food." She said.

"It's quite nice to enjoy." He shrugged, "And you would begin to wither away, but would not die a second time. It is not something that can be easily fixed with a needle. I suggest you realize you are a smart girl, and do not starve or dehydrate yourself."

"Fine. Then get me some wine." Katniss growled, and George looked slightly surprised.

"That can be arranged." He nodded, and then leaned in, "But in the mean time, I think you might have some questions that I can answer."

Katniss contemplated it. "I don't even know where to start." She admitted after a long moment.

"I'll go through the basics, then." George said, as if he expected her to not know what to say, "I am the leader of this community, and I am also the first person that died in the first Hunger Games. I was 19 years old. All the others came soon after, and I realized this is the wandering place for broken souls that have had the misfortune to find themselves in the games. There are over 1000 of us that are trapped here. So, I decided to try to make life not so bad."

"Not so bad?" Katniss scoffed.

"I know it seems hard to believe, but I grow crops and raise livestock. There are always animals here to hunt. We make our own clothes and build houses. People move on with the lives they never had, fall in love. It's not anything desired, but we do our best."

"I can't leave, can I?" Katniss sighed.

"No. You would wander in forest for eternity. As far as we know, we are closed and chained here." Katniss felt her hands shake.

"Just Hunger Game participants?" She breathed.

"Were you expecting someone else?" George asked. Katniss sucked in hard.

"My father."

"Ah, well sometimes family does wander in here, maybe just for a day, but it's an act of kindness all the same. Perhaps you will be lucky like some." He comforted, but Katniss' eyes were turned to the window that looked out across a road that lead to a place she couldn't see.

"I bet moral isn't high here, a town of lost souls and losers." She mused. George looked a little taken back.

"Not just the ones who didn't win, but also the winners come here too when they die." He corrected, and Katniss looked confused, "This is a place for broken souls and torn hearts. I have come to find, of course, that those who one the games are the most broken and lost of all."

IV.

The town was buzzing when they left the city center. People pressed against Katniss, asking who had won the games, since everyone knew she was the last tribute.

"Cato, Cato Hadley." She replied to those that questioned to shut them all up. The word flew from her lips like a vile bug, and she spat on the ground.

Rue was waiting for her. She would never be able to see the disappointment that Prim was facing, but gosh darn it, she never thought of seeing the pain on Rue's face. It was something she could not stand to see. She couldn't look at the girl, and she didn't even hug her. Rue would only see her as a failure, she was sure of it.

"We traditionally put new comers with others so that they're not alone." George was saying.

"What if I like being alone?" Katniss asked.

"In one year, you can be a hermit to your hearts desire. But for not, that will not be allowed. You need time to mend, and you can't do that on your own. Trust me." He assured.

"Katniss can stay with me." Peeta spoke up, reappearing in front of them on the trail. George patted his shoulder.

"Peeta, you know the rules. She'll be with a female that has at least been here five years. Nice try, though." He chuckled, and Peeta sulked. She was put with Petunia- Tuney- that had stitched her up.

"You remind me of my older sister." Tuney stated.

"You remind me of my younger one." Katniss said. Tuney gave a small smile.

"Perhaps we can be each other's family now." She prompted. Katniss just took her bed roll and curled up on her bed that had been newly placed in the spare room. She couldn't find the strength to answer.

V.

A District 11 boy brought her wine on the second day. She laughed at the ridiculous show of flourish at the large amounts sent, each with different infused flavor, because Katniss would have settled for the rawest there was. The gesture was nice, though, and she accepted it with a deep bow.

George was by soon to explain how this worked, this as in the world she now lived in.

"Everyone contributes. You are a drifter until a year has gone by, meaning you work for me doing...well, odd jobs and less than desirable ones. After that, you can go out and be whatever you wish to be, however alone you want, but you must support our world." He said, a sharp warning.

"How do we know when a year has gone by?" Katniss asked.

"When the first tribute of next year's games appear." He replied, and Katniss felt a deep and dark pain in her chest. George held up the wine.

"David really outdid himself. Town wine maker; I asked him to bring over his finest specimen. Clearly he couldn't chose one."

"The kid is hardly over twelve."

"He's had nearly fifty years to make it perfect." George shrugged, "You will find that most are very much younger than yourself...and do all the jobs you remember back in the living world."

"So I am to assume I will never age?" Katniss asked.

"You can, but it will go by so slowly you will hardly see a difference. I have been here seventy-some years, and I'd say at most, I'm a year older."

"Forever is not how I thought it would be." Katniss pried the cork out of the bottle, and drank. She had never had wine of such high quality. Even when she was training, wine was frowned upon for children her age. She had a couple drinks on special occasions when people would sneak it to her, but it was always too watery and too dry.

"Forever is a wish for ignorants. This will not be forever, but until those horrible games end."

VI.

Katniss' first year went by swiftly. There were many things and new people to occupy her time.

She often spent time drawing up what her house would look like when her first year was up. It was faintly reminisce of her own old house back home, which Peeta told her was unwise, but she didn't listen. She wasn't much in a mood to talk to Peeta.

When they had been in the games, things were easy. There was little time to think about why she may love him, she just did. But that was under duress, and now that they literally had all the time in the world, it was hard for him to accept that perhaps it was only to save their lives. She didn't want to hurt his feelings, but she wasn't ready to love anyone for a long time. She wasn't even sure if she wanted his friendship.

Nearing the time when the games were bound to begin, all the prior people who had been killed in the last Hunger Games were put on shifts at the town hall- built where George said every single person appeared at. Firstly, the hours were hideous and painful, so no sane member wanted to volunteer, and secondly George hoped that perhaps whoever was working would have a better chance of recognizing the newest dead, because learning you had died was not the lightest of things to say.

Katniss was working a 1 AM-7 AM shift. The coffee in her hands had long grown cold, and it was only two hours in. It was the first time she'd had a shift, even though the town had been waiting for two weeks for someone to appear. The shifts went in order of the people killed. Fritz, the boy who had fought with her over a backpack and died first, would appear at 8 AM. He was hardly thirteen, and had apologized profusely for fighting with her for a backpack. He had also added with some venom that perhaps had he not been so blinded, he would have lived longer.

Fritz wasn't a bad kid, just young and still shifty. He was one that was haunted by his few seconds in the games.

There was a dull buzzing in the back of the white room, perfectly even and altogether mind-crazing din. Katniss looked down at the grainy bits on the bottom of her cup. Why would they appear at 3 AM? The games always began during the day. Unless the times were switched, and it was really 3 PM back in the real world.

She wondered if Gale and Prim were watching. She wondered if they missed her. Did they have a big funeral? Did they cry for her? She wished there was a way to show how much she missed them. And she swore to God, or Odin, or Zeus that if either one of those two showed up on that goddamn table, that she would...she would...

To be honest, she couldn't think of a crime good enough to inflict if the two people she loved most dearly appeared here. It would only hurt them to see her wither away if she stopped eating. She couldn't die. They'd be trapped like she was.

A little light breathed on the edge of her vision. She glanced up, half paying attention, even though she was quite sure someone was appearing. It was most likely a young and scared tribute, killed with a axe to the back or something else. The tribute wouldn't listen to her anyway, so perhaps she should just get up now and go and get George.

She glanced over, and her coffee dropped from her fingers.

Victors didn't die a year after they won, in the week that the next games were supposed to begin.

But yet, Cato sat up, his neck cracked all funny, and sneered at her.

"This has to be hell if you're here."

VII.

Packed into a little room later, Katniss watched him. She was not going to let him out of her sight even for a moment.

"Just tell us about the games this year." George was saying, pushing back the general public who wanted to know if their siblings and friends were in the games this year, or who was competing.

"Fucking Quarter Quell. Victors sent back into the ring. No one offered to volunteer for me, but did they ever think that maybe I didn't want to go back? Maybe, I wanted to live my goddamn life?" His fists clenched hard, and he began to shake, "And this little scrawny thing snuck up behind me and snapped my neck. He hardly weighed over 100 pounds."

"What about District 12?" A woman in the back prompted, "They have no female victors?" Cato locked eyes with Katniss, and a evil grin spread across his face.

"Poor Little Prim. No one to volunteer for her this time." He cackled.

Six people had to literally hold Katniss down from pouncing on him. Arbor and Tuney pushed Katniss to a place where she would have to really fight to tear Cato apart.

"We should get back to the station then," Arbor prompted, "The bloodbath always has many fallen."

"Right. Katniss, you want to go back and watch?" George asked, "You still have a couple more hours of your shift."

"Anything to get away from him." She hissed under her breath and George's eyes softened.

"Right. He killed you. Try to stay away from him, Katniss. Give it fifty years and then maybe you'll be able to have a civil conversation." He advised.

"Do you talk to the person who killed you?" Katniss asked, pushing away from the crowd. George gave a light laugh, and looked over his shoulder. Arbor was talking to Cato.

"We're best friends now." He said, nodding to the pale, skinny red-head. Katniss just stared.

"How could you even be...be..." She stuttered, "He killed you. He smashed your head with a rock until you died." Everyone knew how George died brutally.

"It's strange, you know." George agreed, walking with her out of the court-room, "I would have liked to push him over the cliff here time and time again. And no one was more hateful of each other than us, the way we went and all. Most people will meet their killers in this life, and they just stay away."

"I want nothing to do with him." Katniss said with a hard edge, "I would be happy to never see him again."

"I thought that about Arbor too."

"What changed, then?" Katniss asked, intrigued by the way George was smiling.

"If I told you, then you wouldn't let it happen when it happens to you." He said, ruffling her hair, "Come and get me in my office when others appear."

"If others appear." Katniss emphasized. George shook his head.

"When."

Katniss was wrong, of course. 7 more people, this time adults because of the Quarter Quell, woke up bloody and confused. Some were people Katniss had watched win, and she was sorry to see them here.

After her shift she ran to Peeta's house, which had already been erected near the town bakery, and pounded on his door.

"Cato's here." She said, storming into his house.

"W...what?" He gaped, a bottle of milk crashing to the floor. Katniss turned around and hugged him, unable to speak.

"And Prim's in the games." She whispered, and she could not stop from crying.

That night, something started between those two. Katniss curled up on his bed, and it smelled like him and home so completely. When he sat next to her, she didn't protest to him falling asleep at her side.

VIII.

It was two years before she had to see him again. That. Monster.

Prim, by some miracle of fate, had won. Katniss was calmed by the idea that it would be hopefully decades before her sister returned here, elderly and with a happy life, but she would see her baby sister again.

She, by George's law, was contributing as the game catcher. While most of the tributes had skills in archery or hunting, none did with the finess that Katniss did. Therefore, the former game catcher gladly gave up his title and handed over his horribly treated bow and arrows.

She was treading difficult waters with Peeta, attempting to balance something like a relationship. She lived alone, though, in the woods and it was about twenty minuets into town. She wasn't ready to move in with him, no matter how much he pleaded.

The town builder, a District Three genius, came by to inform her she had a neighbor. Katniss wasn't over-joyed, but was swiftly assured that this person was going to be out of sight of her little log cabin porch, but she may run into him from time to time.

Perhaps it was one of the 76th tributes, she thought. There was a girl named Emily that seemed to enjoy being alone, and she wasn't that horrible of a person to be friends with. She hoped it was Emily, and decided to go out and meet her new neighbor, if anything to lay down some ground rules.

She found the architect with a blond companion.

"Trying your hand in actually working, I presume." Katniss spat out, and it slithered up her throat like venom.

"Please do not tell me this is my neighbor." Cato asked, ignoring her completely.

"Oh hell no." Katniss shook her head, "You can't put us next to each other. He killed me, remember? It's a rule!" She stomped her foot. The architect looked unsure.

"Well, he chose this land. And I think this is technically legal..." He started, but Katniss pushed him against a tree.

"Damn legality. I cannot be living next to him." She growled.

"Katniss, calm yourself. There is nothing you can do." He said firmly.

"I'm talking to George!" Katniss said, throwing him to the ground.

George was less than helpful.

"I know that there is a rule about your situation, because we don't need people at each other's throats because of petty arguments." He agreed.

"He killed me. That is hardly petty, George." Katniss disagreed.

"In a game where he had to. Yes, he may be more psychopathic than others, but he's just as much a victim as you are." He said.

"Bull." Katniss shook her head, "He can't have a house next to me."

"Your abodes are are least fifty feet apart. That's as far as my rules go. You can still avoid each other, quite easily." Katniss crossed her arms sourly. She didn't want to have to make efforts like she did in town to avoid him. Her house was her peace. He wasn't going to ruin that, he couldn't.

"You two are kindled souls, you know." George prompted.

"We are nothing alike." Katniss lunged forward, slamming her hands onto the table top.

"You both volunteered for siblings." He said.

"He just did it to get all the fame and glory, egotistical careers." She aruged.

"Or he loved his eleven year old brother. And you are something of firsts. You are the first volunteer ever for District 12, and he was the first person to die and winner and a loser in the games."

"I don't care if we share a father, I don't want to have to see him."

"You're a loner, Katniss. You creep around like a panther. I think you'll have no trouble avoiding him. If things get too tense, you could always move in with Peeta." George's eyes sparkled. Katniss grabbed the nearest thing on his desk- an apple- and threw it at his head, in a sort of half-playful way.

"No way."

George picked up the apple and rubbed it shiny with his sleeve.

"That's what I thought."

IX.

Three years after Cato became Katniss' neighbor, Katniss and Peeta's relationship-or whatever the heck she wanted to call it-crumbled.

"You never wanted to do anything with me, Kat. We're not even friends with benefits, which perhaps I could have worked with. I'm just friends that, when it's convenient for you, is your boyfriend. But you don't like labels." He said one day, throwing up his hands.

"We're not perfect, Peeta. We're broken." She tried to say.

"Nothing is perfect, I know, but that doesn't mean that we can't try." He said, "You won't even let us do that."

"So what is this then?" She finally cried, slamming over his chairs and grabbing his shirt, "A break-up?"

"And you didn't even see it coming." He said, prying himself away from her, "Now you're free to hole yourself back in your little cottage which I've hardly seen and feel sorry for yourself."

"Feel sorry for myself? You think me crying over the fact that I died is that I'm feeling sorry for myself?"

"God, Katniss. Yes. Everyone here is dead. It's not like it's exclusively your right!"

"No, It's not!" She drew her hands across her face, "But you all seem almost happy here."

"Why can't we be happy? You could be too, if you wanted to, but that's the problem. You keep making yourself sad."

"If I'm happy, then I forget." She swallowed hard, "And I can't forget." She picked up her jacket off the floor where it had landed at the start of the day, dusting off the dirt, "I'm done fighting about this."

"I'm done with all of this. You, us. " Peeta responded, and tried to hold open the door for her. She flinched away, "Look, maybe one day we can be-,"

"If you say friends I'll slam that door in your face so it hurts." Katniss threatened, fighting back a wave of tears. Peeta stopped what he was going to say and frowned.

Katniss hurried back home, and took a bottle of that wine she had been gifted five years ago out and sipped it on her porch to watch the sunset. There was a crunching of leaves behind her, and maybe it was George.

"I heard about you and Lover Boy."

"Get the hell away Cato." She said, refusing to turn around, "And how do you even know?"

"News is like wildfire." He shrugged, "But really, answer me this one thing- I've been dying to know since the first games we were in...did you ever love him?"

Katniss didn't reply for a long time. She hardly registered that he sat on the opposite side of the porch steps, but near her all the same.

"Not...at first. It was a ploy to win. I was supposed to live because of it." She said, "And that arena...it does funny things to your head. And here, maybe I did love him but other than Prim I've never known love, and surly not to love a man, so I couldn't answer you. Somewhere in the years, it felt like love." She admitted.

"Didn't you tell him that?" Cato asked, "Did he know that?"

"Why would you care?" She looked at him sharply.

"I don't."

"Then mind your own beeswax." She said, and he stood. But he paused, as if waiting for her answer. Once it was clear she wasn't going to say anything, he walked away. Perhaps silence was answer enough. She wiped her hand across her brow and sighed.

"No." She whispered, "Because perhaps If I had, it would have given us too much hope. A little is good. Too much is dangerous."

X.

Ten years before she had another civil conversation with him that didn't totally spew hate and judgement with every syllable. She recalled what George had said to her after he had appeared.

Give it fifty years, he'd said. She gave a sly smile after it all- she'd done it in 15.

And perhaps their meeting was less than clearly met. Both were drunk out of their minds, for different reasons.

Katniss was drunk because Peeta had announced that he and Foxface were getting married, and a killed tribute from 12 had come saying that Gale and Madge were expecting their first child. Maybe Katniss did know what it felt like to love because she had crawled onto her bathroom floor and cried until there were no more tears. And when she still hurt, she went and got drunk.

Cato was drunk because he said he enjoyed being so, which Katniss deemed an equivalent to someone saying 'I enjoy walking over hot coals to feel the burn' or 'I gladly sat through a capitol party and smiled the whole time because I wanted to.' He was crazy, but not the monster he was in the area.

Sitting at the bar, she was surprised there wasn't a swarm of woman trying to get in his pants like usual. She could see that perhaps, in the right light, he was attractive. There was something about his brooding face that made girls go crazy.

"Or what happened to Clove? I thought you two were you know..." She made a motion with her fingers, and Cato flinched.

"Turns out she only likes me when I'm killing people. She has some sick fetishes. I don't envy the poor guy that's in her spider's bed right now." He shook his head.

"So you don't like killing people? Looked like you had fun in the area. Or when you killed me." She put a lot of emphasis into her last statement.

"I thought it was just a game, when I was young." He shrugged, "it's the stupid Capitol propaganda they teach. I'm sickened by it now." He said.

Katniss wasn't sure if she had a reply for it. "I still have dreams about it." She whispered, the toxic in her veins making her seemingly vulnerable.

"I am angry. Violent. Unfixable." He raised the bar by showing her his heart, layer by layer of rotting skin. Each word was like tearing away a layer of sickness until it was just Cato, "You know, everyone else I killed has forgiven me. Even Peeta." He raised his glass, "But not you."

"Am I supposed to thank you for killing me?"

"No, but to realize that it wasn't all me would be nice. It was the capitol."

"The capitol drove a knife through my heart? I don't think so."

"Look, even if you had killed me and won, you wouldn't have lived through the next games. You would have been right back in that arena."

"And spared my sister the tragedy of the games. And perhaps I would have won again?" She asked.

"No." He shook his head, "No one is that lucky."

"Finnick was." She said smugly, glowing with happiness that perhaps a good person had finally won the games not once but twice.

"Finnick was valuable. After that whole thing with the lovers, you were better of dead than alive." Cato reasoned, "Snow always hated you. You offered to go for your baby sister to save her, and that made the people start to murmur."

"From what I hear you also offered."

"It was expected. Hardly news." He saw her gathering her things, "Do you want me to walk you back to your place?"

"What? Like something's going to jump out and rape me?" She laughed, "I'll be fine."

"Maybe because this might be the closet to forgiveness that I'll ever get." He said, putting a hand on her shoulder. It burned where he touched.

She let him walk her home.

She also let him into her house.

VXI.

In the dead of night, his fingers traced over her neck and down her arms. It traced the zipper as he slowly let it slide down her back.

She caressed all his scars, and he with a shuddering breath, told her how he got each. It was like a map of his life, from his first trainings to become a victor, to the invisible place where he had been killed.

His fingers circled the scar that was still shining white against her olive skin where he had drove the steel into flesh. She jumped a little, her heart fluttering and voice cracking at the sensation. She had not even let her fingers trace that semi-circle because that would make it real.

But he did, and he kissed it too.

She was drunk and sad and needy so she let him.

And perhaps his silhouette in the silver shadow of the moon was a little beautiful.

She encouraged his steady hands to push her onto her bed, and to guide hers to something she had never experienced before.

In the dead of night, she gave him everything of hers- all her firsts- except for forgiveness.

That's what she told herself.

XII.

In the morning, she woke before he did and made eggs while she waited for him to wake up. What does one say?

He rolled into the kitchen in just a pair of jeans, and chuckled, "I was your first."

"So?"

"It was a little obvious." He shrugged arrogantly, " I thought for sure Peeta would have taken that in the games..."

"I wasn't that desperate." She said pointedly, "And I was drunk last night. It wasn't like I was totally willing." She argued.

"Seemed like it to me." He raised an eyebrow, "You were eager."

"You were too."

"We both were. It's been a long time since I've been sober enough to enjoy something like that. The Girl on Fire is just as warm in bed." He licked his lips.

"I would offer you some eggs, but I can't be moved to care. Instead, I'd like to tell you to firmly get out."

"I'm not staying around, Katniss." He assured, "I wouldn't want you to think that now i'm going to start courting you or something."

"Exactly." Katniss agreed, "That would be silly. And I wouldn't want to to be under the impression if I were to invite you for breakfast that I enjoyed it."

"Neither did I. Average at best."

"Good. We're in agreement. Let's not repeat this?" She asked. At the time, Cato agreed.

XIII.

Twenty-three years after death, Cato appeared on her doorstep where she sat on the porch, writing poems.

"Lover boy and I are friends now." He said simply, and Katniss' neck snapped up sharply.

"Excuse me?"

"Friends. It's nice." He said, taking the liberty to sit on her second rocking chair. Lord knows why she had two to begin with, but she wasn't sure she wanted him sitting in it.

"How?"

"We both work late shifts. We began seeing each other at the diner and bonding over coffee." He shrugged, "You know, he's a nice kid. Good."

"Yeah I know." Katniss snapped her journal shut, "What the hell do yo do anyway?"

"After twenty-one years and you still don't know?"

"I don't make a point to get to know murderers."

"Funny," He chuckled, "You got to know me pretty well a couple years ago. There are some scars I've never told anyone else about."

"We were drunk."

"Right. Drunk." He made a salute, "But I'm a doctor, didn't you know?" He asked. Katniss shuddered.

"I don't even want to imagine you saving anyone's lives. Do the people know-,"

"That I killed people?" He sighed, "Hell, yes. Everyone here has killed at least one person. You killed Marvel. And technically Glimmer."

"And we make a point not to talk to each other." She looked at him with a meaningful glare.

"I'm being neighborly."

"And telling me how you're best friends with my ex. Yeah, so neighborly."

Katniss stood and got up.

"Was this all you meant to achieve today?" She questioned.

"What?"

"Telling me about your newfound friendship. Because if that's it, you can leave." She said pointing out toward his own house.

A blush crept up his face, something Katniss had never seen before. She examined him.

"Your hair looks nice. I noticed." He said, scuffling his feet. Katniss gave him a raised eyebrow.

"I chopped off half of it. You'd be blind if you didn't notice." Still the compliment rose through her body and she hoped she too wasn't blushing.

"Don't girls always complain guys don't notice stuff like that?" He asked.

"Wouldn't know."

Cato stayed around, unsure, for a moment more. And then, he saluted her and stuck his hands in his pockets, and walked back through the forest, his boots crunching leaves underneath.

XIV.

He came knocking a couple days before her 26th anniversary of death. She wasn't quite expecting him; not that she ever did; but today was particularly out of sorts in a tank top, shorts, and hair messy and uncombed. She saw his lean figure rest against the side of her little cabin, and she rolled her eyes. What the heck did he want today?

When she opened the door, he turned, and smiled.

"Why don't you look lovely?" He said. Katniss rolled her eyes.

"Now your a killer and a liar." She teased, although the word murder still drew a knife through her heart- like he had killed her.

"A rose, Ms. Everdeen." He offered. She eyed the red beauty in his hand warily.

"Why do you come with roses?" She asked, beginning to close her door.

"An invitation." He said, still handing it out. Her expression swiftly changed; it took no time to realize what he meant.

"Oh, no." She shook her head, "You're not seriously asking me to George's 100 death day party?" She asked, and he didn't flinch, "Are you?"

"Do you have better offers? Like Daz?" He asked. Katniss slammed the door back, standing right up.

"Perhaps. Maybe Daz would make a lovely companion." She said defensively.

"He would only step on your feet the whole night. They are rather large. Besides, do you really want to spend your time with a boy who was killed by fear of a spider in the games?"

"He'd be better company than you, I'm sure." Cato made a motion over his heart.

"Ouch."

"And I was actually talking about George! I've heard whispers..." She said, looking at her hands and giving a tiny smile. Cato's laugh made her scowl, "What?"

"What kind of whispers, because trust me, honey- they're not the right ones. He's been here 100 years and he's single? Why do you think that is?"

"He was waiting for the right girl. Maybe it's me!" Katniss said, allowing her tiny crush to slip out, just to see Cato loose.

"And you've been here 26 years, and he hasn't made a move."

"He kissed me- twice!" Katniss said triumphantly. There was a cringe of anger, of rage on Cato's face for the tinniest of seconds. It made his fist clench around the rose, and at first she thought he was going to ask when or why or reveal something that she was sure he was hiding now. But instead, he just smoothed back his hair.

"Twice in twenty-six years." He laughed, "Hardly concerning. Dear, he sings to the other mocking jays. If you know what I mean. And maybe he sings to both birds, but we know he leans toward the more masculine ones." He said, and immediately felt a little bad at Katniss' crestfallen face. He tried to make himself sound arrogant, taunting, "You really didn't know."

Katniss' hand shivered on the doorframe, and she pushed a hair away from her face. But he saw her lip quiver beneath her hand. "Maybe I won't go."

"Nonsense. And watch the station? Don't you remember who popped out of it the first time you did that?" Cato made a motion to himself. Of course, George's 100th death day party landed just around the fourth quarter quell. Instead of inflicting the unfortunate job to the newbies this year, he said that anyone who wished not to attend the party would be stuck with guard duty. It was dreadful, and to be honest-

"I'd rather go with you than sit and do that again."

She hadn't meant for the words to slip out. Cato gave a smirk. He thrust the rose into her hands.

"Good. It's a date."

XV.

As soon as he left, Katniss threw her hair into a braid and put on more appropriate clothes, than bolted into town. She pounded on Tuney's door until it opened, and then groaned, putting her head in her hands.

"Tuney, I need a dress." She whispered.

"You got asked to the ball." The young one gave a smirk.

Petunia was not much older than Rue, but seemed infinitely more mature than the little chocolate skinned girl, which is why Katniss did love spending time with her little friend, but confided easier in Tuney. On this particular matter, it was also helpful when her friend worked with the problem in question. Maybe she seemed old because she dealt with lives in her hands constantly, and so far, no one had withered away and died under her watch. Not that it was possible, but it was more of an inside joke.

They went to Glimmer's. While Katniss tried her best to avoid her shop, there was no where else that sold things in town like this did. George's death day party was a capitol event, in the worst and best ways. It was to be like a capitol party, but only in theory because that was the only huge party she'd ever known. And hardly that, only in pictures and on T.V.

"Katniss, dear!" Glimmer squealed, "Did I hear wrong, or is Cato taking you to the ball?" She asked, grabbing Katniss' arm a little to tightly.

"Goddamn does news travel fast." Katniss grumbled as Tuney gasped. Katniss rose her voice, "Yes. But only because I need a date that's apparently not...gay."

"You didn't know about George?" Tuney asked, scrunching her face.

"I guess everyone but me knew." Katniss said, "But let's not talk about that."

"I think you would stunning in a million different colors." Glimmer was already pulling out measurements, "Ever thought about yellow? With your complexion, you could look like a star!"

"I'm really not adept in this type of thing. Whatever you think. But...let's stay away from fire. That was Cinna's." There was hardly a day that she didn't think of her friend, and how much she missed him. She was supposed to win for him...

Glimmer giggled. "You know...I was so jealous he was your designer. He was clearly the best." Katniss gave a little harsh nod, feeling prickles of tears approach her eyes. Glimmer clasp her hands, sighing.

"And also, I've never said it formally...but I forgive you. I mean, I didn't know how to shoot that bow anyway." She laughed a little, and Katniss felt the strangest lightness. It was...weird.

"I accept." That was the only thing she could think to say. Then Glimmer winked.

"And I also am forgiving you in the future for stealing my man. I was going to be his wife you know?" She asked.

"You were?" Katniss gasped, "How..."

"Well, he didn't know it." She teased, and Katniss felt her face redden as she realized it was a joke. More so about what Glimmer was implying.

"Oh, really. We're not together. It's just...convenient."

"Niss, he could have any girl in town. Let's face it- he's hot. But he picked you. Don't you wonder why?" Tuney asked, squeezing her hand, "I know you say you hate him-,"

"I do." Katniss confirmed.

"-But he's really not that bad. Some anger problems, I admit. But who isn't broken after the games?" She asked.

Katniss groaned. "Honestly, I don't want to think about it." She said.

"You're afraid." Glimmer said, not savagely, but sagely, "If you do, you may find something even scarier than his reasoning...yours for saying yes."

There was a silence, and Glimmer hummed to break it, and smiled, "Yellow and royal blue. I promise it will be beautiful."

XVI.

In the months leading up to the 100 year party, Cato often found her. Usually on the steps of her house, but sometimes out in the woods sitting on trees or up in branches. At least once every other day, Katniss began to see him constantly, although mostly it was not because of her.

He sought her out. Or he was incredibly unlucky (or lucky) at running into her.

And they talked. And she began to see that perhaps, she was a bit silly to be so quick to judge him. Perhaps Tuney was right.

On the eve of the ball, he came with another rose.

"I'll pick you up and walk you into town at 6PM sharp." He said, and left the rose at her feet, and that was all he said for the day. Usually, it was an hour or two he kept her talking.

But Katniss picked up the rose and rolled it between her fingers. She may have actually been a little excited.

XVII.

Katniss believed Glimmer when she put on her dress. She felt like a queen. Not the queens from history that she had been taught here, but a queen from the story books that her mother had read to her as a child. She felt like Snow White, or Belle, or Cinderella. She felt powerful and beautiful...

...But she refused the love.

Arriving at the party with Cato on her arm aroused a buzz, even thought everyone seemed to know about it before. It was unusual when a killer and a killee became friends, but when a boy and a girl meeting such criteria showed up at a party together, apparently, it was news.

George greeted them, and Katniss asked Cato to grab them some drinks. Cato seemed uneasy, and glared at George as he left.

"So he knows about our kisses." He remarked lightly.

"Happy 100." Katniss greeted, and then lightly smacked him, "Why didn't you tell me you were...you know. Made me look like a fool."

"I love all, just boys sometimes more. But, if he didn't look at you like such all the time, I may have been able to love you too." He admitted, which made her little heart fall to pieces a bit more.

"What do you mean 'look at me'?" She asked sharply.

"Twice you've been blinded by love." He laughed, "I couldn't steal you away from him when he his clearly so engrossed with you. I didn't think he'd do much about it though. You two coming together has quite basically fueled the town soap opera."

"Why does everyone keep talking about us 'together'. They're exaggerating." She huffed.

"Don't take it personally. There's no stars here, we're all equal. So, to keep the Career's busy, they like to put people together like they did with starlets back home. Wistful thinking." He shrugged, "Harmless."

"So they want us to become a couple. Like Peeta and I in the games." George shrugged.

"A bit."

Katniss saw red on the edge of her vision. "Well, sorry, but I'm not going to fall in love for their entertainment." She hissed angrily, picking up the train of her dress and stomping away.

It was Peeta, who stopped her.

"Woah, Katniss. You look like you're going to kill someone."

"How the hell did you get so lucky to not be the center of everyone's pleasure, like I did once again?" She demanded, "How did you and Foxface-,"

"You know her name is Melissa," Peeta sighed, but he'd been through that a thousand times,

"Avoid all this." She threw her hands up in a wild motion.

"I would say luck," Peeta began, but Katniss threw an angry glare at him, "But more honestly, we didn't bulid up our sexual tension until you could separate it with a bow and arrow." He said, raising an eyebrow.

Katniss nearly raised her voice, but caught herself and threw it down to a hissed whisper, "Sexual tension?"

"Yes. When a man and a woman love each other very much but refuse to believe-," Katniss punched his shoulder, and there was a little smile, although miniscule.

"Can it, Loverboy." She rolled her eyes, "Go find your ginger now. I'm done talking with you." Peeta patted her shoulder.

"Sure, Katniss. See you around."

Katniss retreated farther into the alcove Peeta had pulled her half-way into. She was fuming. Cato came up from the other side.

"I've been looking all over for you." He said, holding out a glass, "What were you and Peeta talking about?"

"Sexual tension." Katniss said, and Cato spit up his drink.

"What?" She looked at him, and without a moment more, grabbed his tie and pulled him in for a kiss. She broke back, and Cato looked shocked...but he was blushing. Hard. Katniss conveniently chose to ignore it.

"See? What the heck was he talking about. I felt nothing." She said. Cato was dazed, but quickly snapped himself out of it. He traced her face with one finger along the side of her face, and then dove back in for another sweltering kiss.

Something did snap within her, because he set the drinks down on the table beside their sheltered alcove and pulled her impatiently through the crowd. People moved like they were a parting sea, and perhaps George even raised his glass to her, but she hardly saw.

They stumbled into a bedroom- it might have been George's, but she didn't really care. Cato's voice was rough against her lips.

"I'm going to break that promise that I made ten years ago." He whispered.

"Please, yes." Katniss said, and she made herself promise that was the only time she would beg, or speak. But it wasn't that hard of a promise to keep, because soon words were totally unable to be formed, only sharp little gasps and moans.

The beautiful dress that Glimmer had created slid off with too much ease, and Katniss was sure she had expected something to happen like this. That almost made her pause, imagining everyone outside, but then Cato's lips were down there, and-

Screw em'; she didn't really care.

It was much more vigorous than the first time. The first time had been gentle, slow, cautious. This time, his kisses bruised her lips and she left little bit marks all along his neck. She knew that he was still angry and a little violent, and that was his nature, but this was controlled. He was a beast, but it was all in good measure. And she found perhaps...she liked it. It was manly to her, and it meant he was powerful, but he knew his limits and could keep it all at bay.

And when she admitted this to herself, a little fire ignited that she suddenly found impossible to ignore. But she couldn't say anything, because it frightened her.

What came next made her emotions seem like a butterfly.

It was in the aftermath, when the found his arms around her. His nose ran up her neck, ending at the crown of her hair, so his lips were at her ears.

"Katniss, oh, Kat..." He murmured. She stayed silent, still. She didn't know how to respond. He was shaking a bit.

"Kat, I think I-," He began but Katniss gave a sharp intake of breath.

"Don't. Say it." She said in a low voice. He paused.

"Why?"

"It's going to ruin everything." She whispered. Tears began to roll down her cheeks.

"Ruin?" He echoed, "What do you mean?"

"I can't...you can't...don't..." She pleaded.

"You're afraid of it. God, Katniss. Peeta's right. Why can't you let anyone in."

"Because it's a lie!" She said firmly, "Can't it just be like it was before? When tonight began? And up until you tried to say..." She couldn't repeat it.

"I don't want that, Kat. What kind of guy do you think I am?" He asked, a hurt tone to his voice, "Do 'em and go? Leave? I couldn't."

"You're going to have to." She said. She got up.

"I'll say it, I mean it Katniss."

"I'm leaving. You can't." She said, grabbing her things in a storm.

"I'll come to your house and say it."

"Then I have to go farther." She said, and slammed the door. She tried to make it out of the party undetected, but George caught her.

"I was going to make a joke about my bedroom, but you don't seem to be in the mood." He wiped away her tears, which no doubt carried a thick stream of eyeliner with it, "What happened? Did he hurt you?"

"He tried to say that he luh..." The word died on her lips, "He's lying." George gave a huff.

"What if he's not."

"He can't be. How could he love me? How could I love him, is a better question? After he killed me?"

"You already do." George said, and tried to touch her shoulder, but Katniss jerked away. He gave a deep frown, "You cannot trust. That is your brokenness because of the games." He whispered.

"I'm leaving." She said.

"What?" He jerked back, "We both know you can't."

"I mean, remember when a while ago, you talked about want to know how far this goes, what's out there? We're going to need to expand soon, if these games never end. I'm going to out out into the woods and map alone for a long time." She said, smiling, "I'll bring a pigeon and send the maps back to you every once and awhile." George studied her.

"Are you sure?"

"I've been around people for too long, I need to get back to the woods alone for a long time. I'll be fine, I swear." She said.

"It's not you I'm worried about." He said, "It's him." Katniss turned, and saw Cato stumbled out of the room, and she looked away because she couldn't bear to see the expression on his face.

"Tell him not to follow me." She said, and ducked under George's arm, which blocked the door, "I'll be in touch."

George said nothing, but huffed helplessly, and finally let her leave.

XVII.

Katniss did stay for a long time in those woods. Days turned into months, months into years. She found it exhilarating. She had a make-shift tent and carried her trusty bow. She made her own soap, mended her own clothing, and cooked food over an open fire every night. She traveled far and long, with her little bird who always made it back to her. Occasionally, someone would send her something back with the bird- Tuney sent cookies, Peeta sent bread, Rue sent paper and pens, Glimmer sent sparkly fabrics that Katniss laughed at but made clothes from all the same, and George sent letters. It tethered her to the world back home.

But oh, the world she found was beautiful.

She realized how small and secluded their town was, and the possibilities that lay before them. She never reached the end of any side, because she soon realized that there was so much more to see in other directions. And perhaps there was no end, or perhaps it was all a mirage.

First she followed a stream she found to the west and found it deposited on a beach, with waves that reached out as far as she could see. To the east there were rolling grasslands with high, mighty purple mountains outlining the back that looked a little painful to climb. To the north she found canyons and crevices, and a desert after that. To the south was a swampy marshland with things like alligators that she had only ever heard about from stories and make-believe. Sometimes, at night, she would light a fire and stare up at the infinite stars and think of him. It gave her a lot of time to think, which often she did not enjoy. It did, however, make her realize why her heart thumped whenever she thought of them, together.

She forgave him. And really deep down, she may love him.

Perhaps she would have stayed there forever, if a certain pigeon carrying a certain message from George did not bring her back.

Katniss

Your sister just arrived here, and she want to to see you.

-George

It was a bit unexpected, although all victor appearances were, as they were not exactly on the set time for the games, and Katniss knew that for this...she had to hurry back. She sent the pigeon back to George with the knowledge it would reach him much sooner than she would.

George

She stays with me. I'm on my way.

-Katniss

He would not put her baby sister, who in reality was going to be very much older than her, anywhere but her house. Family stayed together. Even thought the idea of days and time had slipped away from her a bit, she still knew it took two weeks to make her way back to town, and she was fairly close to where she began. The way back, her bag was loaded down with things from places that seemed like faraway lands now.

She stumbled into George's house, and was pleased to see George and a vaguely familiar face exchanging laughs. When the girl turned, her whole face lit up in such a way that Katniss' heart melted.

"Katniss!" She cried, and stumbled over the sofa in a child-like way, to meet her sister. They hugged, and George appeared, standing.

"She's been in my house until you returned. I was sure you wouldn't mind that." Katniss shook her head, too moved for words, until...

"How long...have I been in the woods?" She asked, "I can't even..."

"Well, I just celebrated my 150th birthday. You'd be sad you missed it."

"I was gone 50 years?" She gaped, "Impossible."

"Time slips away when your'e having fun." he teased. Katniss examined her sister.

She did the math quickly, but even that didn't need to be done. "You don't look like an 88 year old woman." She said, "You look...my age."

"Did you never wonder why it seemed people above the age of 50 lived here, but much younger? I think you hit a certain point and then you revert back down. I daresay she'd rather be that age here than 88, don't you agree Prim."

"Now I won't feel weird with you. Oh, i've missed you." Katniss bit her lip.

"You still have that duck tail, little one." She teased, kissing her sister's nose affectionately, "Let's go out to eat. First night as sisters again. And then back home...oh dear, I've left it sitting to rot for 50 years!" She groaned, imagining the dust and everything she'd have to fix.

"Oh, Cato kept it fixed." George said, and Katniss stiffened.

"Cato...the one that killed you and-," Prim looked between George and Katniss, and she gave a nervous laugh, understanding something she realized she shouldn't say, "Right."

The sisters went out of the house, arms looped around each other. If the news of her and Cato 50 years previous had spread like wildfire, news of her return must have spread like the plague because already as they walked into a cafe, heads turned and whispered.

Katniss ignored them. She was sure she was dirty and her clothes were torn, but she was an venturer who had only come home for one reason...dear Prim.

"Tell me about everything. Mom, your life, Gale... Prim tell me it all!" She breathed as soon as they'd ordered.

She learned her mother had died of very natural causes after they lived in prosperity in the Victor's village. Remembering her sister had killed and won was a scary thought; at one point, her sister had freaked out when she had killed a squirrel with her older sister. She wasn't sure how Prim had pulled through, but she hardly saw the scars others had after that horrible game.

Her sister had gotten married to a guy from another District that Katniss didn't know, but she knew that it was love when her sister spoke of them. They had birthed five children; the first one a little girl they named Katniss. Katniss felt her eyes fill at the idea of a namesake.

Prim had lived to see over ten grand-children, and died in bed. It wasn't painful, it wasn't even unexpected.

"I'd had this nasty cough, you see. I knew it was coming. Told the hospital to better use it on younger people than me. Wherever I went, I'd see you or dad or mom, I'd reckoned."

"It's not mom and dad here..." Katniss began to apologize, and Prim covered her fist with her gentle hand.

"You are more than enough." She assured.

The door jingled and there were loud whispers that hovered once again. Katniss turned to see who could have possible caused so much commotion, and she should have known better.

Cato. With a girl on his arm that she didn't recognize.

He paused, though, turning ghastly white and freezing. Prim hummed.

"Looks as though he's seen a ghost."

"He has." Katniss grabbed her hand, "C'mon."

She took her sister through the back entrance, and she didn't realize she was crying until she wiped a tear with the back of her hand.

"Did you know that girl?" Her sister asked, looking back.

"No. But I mean, there's been more than a thousand people added to this town. I'm surprised it's not bursting at the seams. I mean, of course, did I think he would just, I don't know...stay loyal? He cleans my house, but what does that mean? Cleaning doesnt mean you still love someone-,"

"Katniss. You're rambling. And I'm sorry." She murmured.

"Why are you apologizing?" Katniss asked, taking a deep breath.

"Because you love him, and he has another girl." She said bluntly, and Katniss wiped a couple more tears away from her face.

"Silly, I don't love him. It was just- never mind. Let's go."

XVIII.

Her house was nearly spotless. Nothing was broken, everything seemed to be nicely dusted and well kept and Katniss felt a little flutter at the idea of coming home.

But it took four years- 80 years since her death- to think Cato for his hard work. It was mostly her fault. She avoided him like nothing else.

She first, threw herself into town life. Along with catching some game, as another kid had stepped up in her absence, she took groups of people out to places she had found that wanted to settle and make their own towns, as the original one was becoming bigger by day. Doing this, she successfully avoided town itself for weeks at a time. She also spent a lot of time with friends, old and new.

And Cato may have been trying to seek her out, but she just wasn't sure. She was well aware that perhaps he watched her, when they were in the same area. Or Prim told her that he had wandered by the house on occasion, but never asked for her, and never came close enough for her to call him over. Prim had decided to stay with her sister, instead of moving into her own house. She wasn't a single girl looking for love that was taken away from her, she had already met the lover of her life. Now, she just wanted to spend time with her hero that she had seen taken away from her years ago.

They met in a familiar place after those four years, on the steps. Katniss was just enjoying some tea, and Prim was out doing some shopping and searching for animals to make pets. She had popularized pets in the town, and was always looking for animals to domesticate. Katniss was pretty sure she had been crazy, approaching a wolf, but now 'Ajax' sat underneath her feet, wagging his tail.

"Long time no see." His voice seemed to come out from nowhere.

"Ah, Cato." She said, trying hard not to break her smile, "Thanks...for the house and all."

She spat it out so that there was no more to say. It was a little too painful. She had wanted to come home and apologize about that night, and say she loved him back, but now he was was with the blond girl- Pixie Dartsen- almost all the time. And he seemed really, really happy.

"It's been four years, and now you're just thanking me?" He laughed.

"I've been busy."

"Clearly."

Katniss paused, and took deep breaths as he sat down next to her.

"I was surprised you didn't break anything, what with your anger problems and all." It was rather a low jab, but now perhaps she wanted him to hurt a little.

He actually laughed, "Oh I did. Wasn't all on accident. You just don't see it because I got rid of that stuff." He assured, and maybe, that made her feel a little better. He held up his hand, and his knuckles shone in the sun, "Look new scars."

He picked up her hand and made them trace over the raised scar on his knuckles, and he shrugged, "The mirror in the front hall." He said sheepishly. Katniss gave a jolt, realizing it was indeed missing.

"Cato!" She gaped, "What happened? What could possibly have made you so angry that you took it out on my poor mirror? I see it fought back, though."

"Oh," He chuckled, pulling his hand back into a fist, a sign of unease, "Well, I don't know...I was thinking of that night. I looked at myself...and am I really that horrible that you couldn't stand the idea of me? You left..." He said, dropping his head between his shoulders.

"I..."

"You left us." He murmured. She had not only left him that night, without goodbye, but the idea of them. Them on the bed, them in each other's arms, them sitting on their porch like they were right now laughing or talking. It was a hard blow.

Katniss couldn't re-live it. So she did what she always did, she tried to leave.

"Well, you're not broken up about it now." She said, "Moved on real fast."

"What?" he asked.

"Oh please, I see her with you. Pixie. It's like you're parading her around like 'Look at me, I'm with her now, Katniss'."

"Pixie?" He repeated, and Katniss got up.

"It's time for you to leave. I have to get ready."

"For what?" He asked, rising too.

"A date." She said. She left before she could see the hurt and betrayal that splashed across his face. Maybe she did, but maybe she didn't feel as good about it as she should have.

XVIX.

Five years Katniss really put into that relationship with a nice enough and for sure attractive enough boy from District 3. She really tried to make this relationship work, because her previous two had fallen through her fingers like sand but shattered on the ground like glass.

Five years to figure out all he ever wanted to do was get in her pants, but perhaps that was the one thing she could not bring herself to give him. She may have loved Henry, a bit, but it was not enough to do that. It was enough to shatter her when he left her, and she did not scream at him like Cato or Peeta, but lay on her couch and let her sister console her. Until her sister left, and returned...with Cato.

"Do you want me to punch his face in? I'll do it anyway. He won't be pretty anymore." He said.

"Why do you care?" Katniss cried, and Cato scowled, shaking his head. Katniss sniffled, and Cato leaned over and gave her a little kiss.

"What about Pixie?" She murmured.

"Wow, you really are slow." He sighed, "Nine years back and you still don't know? That's my cousin. That brother I volunteered for, he had some kids and the eldest ended up the games. I like having her around. She's family. She lives with me."

"But...you spent so much time with her..." Katniss protested.

"Oh, like you never spend time with Prim." He chuckled, and Katniss, leaned up.

"Can it be like it was again? Just for tonight...I need it." She murmured.

"I don't want it to be like this." He said, "Can't I just sit here with you?" He asked.

Katniss was about to say no, but tonight she said yes. That morning, she left without a word, but left a note.

She wasn't trying to run from her problems, because now, perhaps it seemed there were none. Coincidentally, though, there was a group that wanted Katniss to take them to the edge of the mountains. It was a couple year's journey. It had been planned far in advance, and Henry was supposed to come with her. Now, that wasn't going to happen. She wanted to ask Cato, but she knew that he was very important in town- the head doctor- and couldn't sacrifice a year or two yet to go with.

She put the note where her head had laid, gathered her things, and aroused Prim to say goodbye.

Cato awoke to find the note, and for once, it filled him with hope.

Cato

I've gone to the mountains to settle a group there. It will take years, literally, but know that for once, I didn't want to leave. Keep faith, and rest assured that there are things we need to talk about when we return.

Yours,

Katniss.

She hoped that the 'yours' part said everything that she didn't just want to say on paper, and he would understand. He did.

XX.

Once again, he kept house. Every day he waited on the porch, sitting like the had, waiting for her.

She would look up at the stars and thank them for brining her clarity on her first venture, and wished all the while for a safe and swift return home.

The trip took five years- 3 there with all their belongings and troubles, two back because an injured member decided that he wanted to come back to town after he broke his leg. Katniss' frustration reached miles long.

Yet, she had to keep hope that he would be waiting.

And when she did return, she wasn't really quite sure what to say.

"Happy 90th death day." He said, and held out a rose.

"Yes, I guess it is." Her throat clogged, "Ninety years." She mused.

"Mhh..." He agreed.

"Cato, I..." She said, kicking a rock, "I'm just horrible at showing this kind of emotion. When it's not for show, I just don't know what to do." She admitted a little sheepishly.

"Say what you feel." He shrugged.

"How about I show you?" She asked, and she pulled him up to her room, "Not because I'm drunk, needy, or have anything to prove tonight. Just because you're the only one I could be with...in this way, and tonight I want to do it right." She murmured.

And they did.

After, he turned her around.

"Can I try it again, what I tried to say before?" He asked.

She nodded. "Please."

He smiled, "I suppose I have a little more to say about it now..." And he frowned, clearing his throat, "I have been here 89 years. I feel in love with you that first night, 14 years after I arrived here. I saw you and you were so beautiful but I've been chocking on my words every since, trying to find the right way to say them. I have lived 100 years, and if I live 100 more I only wish I could live them with you. Katniss...I love you."

"You were mine 50 years ago, Cato. I'm sorry it took so long." She said, nuding into his skin.

"But it's so good now. So perfect."

In the morning the two rose, and walked to town holding hands.

They were greeted by slow clapping, that gradually became like a storm. Tuney tugged on Katniss' braid.

"Finally!" She said.

Katniss had a meeting to report about the journey with George, and Cato sat outside, so the conversation quickly shifted gears.

"Weird, eh? Didn't I say?" He asked.

"You did." Katniss agreed, "He killed me...but he also...woke me up. Made me feel alive in a place without life." She smiled.

"This may sound a little weird, but there may be a reason he killed you. Haven't you noticed it makes the closest of bonds here? You and Glimmer are best friends, so are he and Peeta. Marvel and Rue have lunch together every Sunday. Arbor and I share everything as best buddies. Clove and Thresh own a business together. I think this place teaches us to forgive and to become normal people again. Seriously, if we were to go on to where right after the games, we would be a wreck. Now, perhaps we have a chance of moving on."

"You still think after this, there's somewhere better?" Katniss asked, motioning around.

"Yes." George said, "Just because I'm optimistic. It would be too lucky if this was the end." He shrugged, "Now, go." He motioned.

"Don't you want to hear about the trip?" Katniss asked.

"Oh, whatever. They'll write." He decided, "You've earned to enjoy this happiness." He said. Katniss got up, and touched her dear friend's shoulder.

"So do you and Arbor." She said with a little smile, "We're not the only couple that found the best forgiveness from death." She whispered.

George shook his head, "Oh, it maybe be 100 more years before that happens. I'm in no rush, though." He assured, "I'll let you two enjoy your limelight." Katniss shot him a glare.

"Oh, you're so thoughtful." She said, deadpanned.

She exited and Cato stood. He twined his fingers with hers.

"I love you."

"It's still weird to see Cato saying that. Cato the Bloody. Cato the Ruthless. Cato the Maniac." She quoted all the things she'd heard about him before the games.

"They made me those things." He said, "My mom used to call me Cato the Kind." He said with a little sad smile.

"Oh, you liar." She hit his shoulder, "I don't believe it."

"Believe or not, it's true. I was the nicest person back in school, it was only when I was a teen that I began to train and all for the games. You know, you're a guy and you had to be the toughest."

"For your sake, you should think it's a good thing I don't." She poked his chest, "So...what should we call you know?" She asked.

"Cato the irrevocably in love with Katniss?" He prompted.

"Too long." She decided.

"How about 'Cato the Magnificent'?" He asked. SHe fake-barfed.

"Too ostentatious."

"Then...how about..." He held up a finger, and got down on a knee, "Cato- future fiancee of Katniss?" He asked, pulling out a ring. Katniss eyed him, trying to push back tears.

"You had that ring for a while, didn't you?" She asked, wiping her nose.

"Mhh a little."

"And you knew when I came back that you were going to do this? Like this? You were planning that line for a long time, I bet." She chuckled.

He shrugged. "Perhaps."

"Well...then..." She stood him up, and took the ring, examining it, "Perhaps...I say yes."


End file.
